To be or not to be...

I once had an English professor tell the class of a time when she went to the ER with a headache. She was in college, preparing for her doctorate and was stressed. The ER doctors sent her home and told her that after she passed her exams, she would be okay. But it turned out, she wasn't okay. The headache turned out to be a brain tumor. That day she underwent emergency surgery and had it removed.

Besides the chronic overuse of commas, I learned that it is imperative to always listen to your body. Always. Because you are the only person that knows when something is wrong. The doctor is the only one that can diagnose anything. But you are the only one that will know if the doctor is right.

You may remember when I was told a couple of years ago that I may have MS. The neurologist's LPN mentioned something that may have proven useful. Turns out, it may be the only useful thing she said.

Follow me, please.

For as long as I can remember, I have been teased for having white legs. They never tan. Ever. Actually, they are weird shade of purple. If I get upset, my chest turns a lovely shade of poison oak red. When I get cold, my feet and my hands go white. What the neuro LPN noticed was that the palm of my hands are splotchy looking.

"How long have your hands looked like that?"
"Like what?"
"Mottled like that?"
"Uh, for as long as I can remember. Why?"
"That is a trait of Raynaud's Phenomenon. I can give you a pill for that."
"Um. Okay. What does that have to do with my headaches?"
"Nothing," she said. Turns out, she may have been wrong.

For the last few weeks, I've been undergoing more testing. I had another spinal tap done on Monday. I freakin despise those things. Hate them. My back is still sore! At least my husband is home for this one and he is just fantastic, so I can't complain too much.

Anyway.

It turns out lupus and MS share symptoms. And many people with lupus also have Raynaud's Phenomenon. A couple of weeks ago, I had an anti double strand DNA test come back "extremely abnormal" (his words, not mine). But, the neurologist said it was vague. The rheumatoid came back negative, the lyme is pending and the lupus is pending. And I've never been bitten by a tick. So...yeah.

Now, it is just a waiting game. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I'm going to be 30 years old next month. I'm too young to be broken. :o/

Prayers are welcome. Virtual hugs are encouraged.

Please and thank you.

On a funny note...some might appreciate this.

The neurologist wanted to definitively rule out everything. So he tested me for everything under the sun. EVERYTHING. When I was discharged from the hospital, I was handed a sheet of paper that listed all of the labs.

The next day, Jaysen was reading it while we were walking down the street. In a rather loud voice, he asks "why did they test you for herpes?!?" Gee, Jay. Could you have said that any louder?

Here is your public service announcement. The reason why they tested me for herpes is because 60% of the people that have herpes don't realize that they have it. The symptoms include headache, muscle ache, fatigue and lower back pain. And in case you are wondering, that test came back negative. :o))