I have had a lot of things that have happened in my life that have molded me into what I am today. My dad died February 4, 2001. To date, that is the worst day of my life. Over the years, I have had plenty of time to think about him. Actually, there is not a day that goes by that I'm not wishing he were here. I can't help but think about the last time I saw him, his silhouette in the back window of Fry's truck shrinking as he drove away. The last phone call we had was a short one. I was heading out to work and couldn't talk. But, I did have the opportunity to say "I love you, daddy."
Losing him has taught me to appreciate life. If I had known that that conversation was going to be the last time I talked to him, I would have been late to work. If I had known that I would never see him again, I would have held on a little bit longer and a little tighter before we parted. And I would have made sure he knew that he was as fabulous as I think he is.
And I'm not making that same mistake with Matthew. There hasn't been a day that goes by that I don't appreciate the small things with him. He lost his front tooth a few months ago and it's starting to grow in. Pretty soon his half toothless grin will be gone forever. I love that grin.
And pretty soon, he won't be six anymore. In just a few short days, he's going to be seven. I can't quite remember when he stopped being a baby and started being a little boy. I can't pick him up and cuddle him anymore like I used to. (Even if I were able, that is a totally uncool thing to do.) It seems like we just brought him home from the hospital yesterday, premie clothes too big for his teenie body. Now, he's too big to carry upstairs.
I'm beginning to forget things. Things that I swore I'd always remember. I can't remember what his first genuine word was. What was his first sentence?
I do remember the small things, though. Like, how he says "storm troopiter". Or the time when he asked me "why?" after I told him to do something and I replied "Because I'm your mother!" He started crying genuine tears "No you're not! You're my mommy!!!" And how a few weeks ago, he was crying because he doesn't want to be a child of God. He wants to be mine and daddy's baby.
The great things in life are truly the small things.
I read about this couple in Mesa, Arizona. I've been reading her blog www.nieniedialogues.com and she is documenting the great things in life that I wished I had noticed. Stephanie enjoys life, enjoys her children and genuinely loves her husband, Christian. I don't know them personally, but I like them anyway. She had surprised her husband with flight lessons, to fulfill one of his dreams. Sadly, they were in a plane accident a few days ago, the pilot died and the two of them were burned pretty badly. Their children are staying with her family here in Provo.
Their medical bills are venturing into the millions. If you would like to donate, host an auction, or if you have another way to help out, please visit her website. Her sister is keeping up with the posts and they have created a link where you can donate. Like I said, I don't know these people. I just like putting good karma out in the world.
1 comment:
Hey Jonnie, you made some awesome statements there. I'm glad you get to spend some time with you man and I wish he didn't have to leave again, but I know you're a strong person and can get through anything. I hope all is going well for you and hopefully we can visit for more than an hour next time!! Call if you're in Boise!
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