A Day of Remembrance

Eight years ago today, I was in Germany. I had just been discharged from the Army five weeks before. At almost eight months pregnant, I was trying to get everything ready. We had ordered a horrendous looking car seat from Ebay (it was cheap and I was broke). It was almost 2:00 in the afternoon, the Today show was on and I was covering the ugly car seat with a less ugly green and blue plaid material.

Matt Lauer was interviewing somebody about Howard Hughes and actually interrupted the guy mid-sentence. They cut away to a break and came back with images from the Trade Center. I was thinking what a horrible accident. Then I watched the second plane hit the other tower and I knew what was happening.

Jaysen was at work when I called to tell him that planes had just hit the WTC. We hung up and I stayed glued to the TV. An hour later, the Pentagon was hit. I called him back "Jaysen, someone just attacked the Pentagon. You need to come home. Now."

"What? Who would be crazy enough to attack the Pentagon? Are you serious?" In the background, I could hear other cell phones ringing. Then I heard the First Sergeant shouting Platoon Sergeants! Formation! Apparently he figured out I was serious. "Okay, I'll be home soon."

Jaysen barely made it outside of the post's gates when they were locked down. From that point on, nobody was getting on post and nobody was getting out. I had never been more scared in my life.

I called my mom, who was living in Payson, UT at the time. "Mom. I'm okay." She had no idea why I wouldn't be okay. She had just woken up and hadn't turned on the TV yet. "Mom, turn on the TV." Aunt Judy started crying because things like that don't happen at home. How innocent things were back then.

The Army post had been locked down. Since we lived off post, we had to park our vehicles off post and walk through the gates in order to get back on post. That only lasted until armed guards could be posted. After that, there was always a line outside of the post because we needed to have all of our vehicles inspected. At least I didn't have to walk to the grocery store. At eight months pregnant, I felt like a Weeble Wobble. Only I was fairly certain this Weeble Wobble would fall down.

Matthew wasn't due to come into this world until November. The doctors said October, but sometimes Moms just know these kinds of things. (Particularly since my husband and just got back from Saudi Arabia eight months before.) Watching the planes crash into the buildings time and time and time again was beginning to wear on me. Jaysen was always working, all of my friends were with him and I was all alone in a foreign country.

One day, I was laying on my bed, crying. It wasn't a pretty cry, either. We are talking full blown, hormone fueled, mucus filled, gut-wrenching cry. I was so homesick and scared. We were preparing for war and I did not want to lose my husband and have this baby all by myself. I turned on the TV and the CBS evening news was on. And there was my Aunt Susie! She'd never looked more beautiful! My own little prayer was answered. What was she doing in New York?!? But it didn't matter, she was alive. But the stress of the attacks took it's toll.

Nine days later, I was falling asleep watching the previous night's episode of Jay Leno. I was thinking about how strange life can be. One morning, everyone files into work at the Trade Center like normal. They go home that night like every other night. The next day, they go to work and then our lives changed forever. How strange would it be that one night, I am going to be watching Jay Leno and then the next night, I'm going to have a baby!

A couple of hours later, I had to go to the bathroom and the baby was kicking my bladder. This was our 2:00 am ritual. But this time was different. I have to pee, I thought. Wait. Did I pee the bed? No, I still have to pee. Oh no! "Jaysen, help me up. I think my water just broke!"

He had only been asleep a couple of hours, at most. "Huh? Oh. Okay. OH! Okay!" I waddled to the bathroom as fast as I could. "Mai! Don't run. You're going to make it worse."

"Jaysen, I don't think it's going to get any better."

But it did. Numerous deployments and eight years later, life has continued on. I still cry every time I see footage of 9/11. And even though I hated seeing my husband leave, I am so proud to see him go.

This morning, we held a moment of silence for all that was lost that day. I explained to Matthew what happened on 9/11 and that is why Daddy went to war. And we are beyond thankful that he's come back safely every time. Because so many haven't.

Please take a moment to remember the victims of 9/11 and those who proudly responded to the attacks. God Bless America.