So big and yet so not...

Matthew called me two nights ago. Here's an excerpt of the conversation:

"Mom? Are you scared? What if bad guys break into the house?"
"Honey, if bad guys break in, I have my mace and a hammer."
"Oh, so you can hit the bad guys over the head?"
"Right."
"Hey, mom? I have an idea. If the bad guys break into the house, you can pretend like you are on their side. And then you can feed them a banana. Only it will have poison on it. Then they'll be like ::insert choking noise here:: ."
"Matthew, that is an excellent idea."
"Will you do it?"
"Yes, I think I might."

So here is this big kid, worrying about his mommy and thinking of ways she can be protected. Can you imagine how that would work out?

Hey, guys! Have you checked the bathroom? Here, have a banana!

I have no idea where he gets these things. He has quite the imagination.

Late (late) last night that same little boy called. At least, I think it was the same little boy...

Me: "Hello?"
pause
"Hello?"

I hear a sad little boy doing the ugly, shaky cry.

"Mom? I miiiiiiiiiiiss you! Why can't I see your face?"
"Oh, honey. Please don't cry."
"Ooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy. When can I come home?"
::insert heart break here::
"Soon, baby. Really soon."
"Mommy, I don't want to be here anymore."
"I know, honey. Would you like me to read you a story?"
"Yeah. You can pick one."

So, we read all about Horrible Harry. Matthew calmed down and mommy felt a little better. I'll feel lots better when I can kiss his adorable cheeks.


It just goes to show that macho men don't always have to be macho...